Fairy Doors as a Parenting Tool

Fairy doors are an absolute enchantment for children, with or without an active imagination. But lets face it, most kids have crazy ideas, and imagination in abundance.  And they're tiny, what kids don't like tiny! This is what makes fairy and elf doors a perfect parenting tool.  

So you and your kids make the best of your fairy and elf doors, follow these steps:

Step 1

Set the scene.  my wee fairy door often magically appear sitting on the skirting, in a quiet nook of your child's bedroom, or perhaps on a shelf - anywhere that takes your fancy.  It needs to be a practical space that can be easily seen when checking for notes and importantly leaving notes (aka from the fairies).  If you have more than one child in separate bedrooms, here's a little money saver, you don't have to purchase one each, they can be placed in the hallway between rooms.  Although, having their own door with personalised messages is seriously magical and super exciting.  You know your kids and what would work best here.


Step 2

Decorate your door.  We have bundles of accessories to choose from, whether your child loves gardens, the beach, picnics or whatever it maybe.  You can also leave items and 'evidence' from your own back yard such as a trail of leaves and petals.  Use our fairy foot print stencil to leave a magical fairy dust, sandy or dirt trail.


Step 3

Behind the door.  With each door comes our fairy girl sticker, this is removable so if you are renting or unsure of what your child may really want, it is easily removed without a mark.  You can easily cut a picture out of a magazine too.  Just focus on what your child loves, be it horses, dragons or even space ships.  It's a magical land with no boundaries!


Step 4

Name your fairy. For engagement and to invite the elves and fairies into your childs magical world, name your fairy. There can be more than one too!  Perhaps you can have:

  • a motherly or fatherly fairy encouraging your child to be nice to their siblings,
  • the tidy fairy,
  • the tooth fairy
  • the dummy fairy

Or if that's just a bit too much, one fairy is plenty too!  Whatever works for you.

Fun fact, after my boys wrote to their fairy asking her name they found in reply it to be Trixie.  Yes, I did feel bad that I was taking the mickey a little but it's well beyond them and at least I remember!

 Notes and Rewards.  

Dummy Fairy

Are you looking at a way to get rid of the dreaded dummy? 

Firstly, and most importantly, don't try too early as your child does need to show some signs of readiness fist. Signs could be that they are forgetting to take their dummy to bed for naps or not waking when their dummy has fallen. 

Try from about 2 years of age if not earlier but not in times of change or extended need such as moving house or friends moving away. Make sure there is no attention elsewhere that may cause a need for extended comfort.  Otherwise it will be a losing battle.

And don't feel pressured by reactions or comments from friends and family.  As parents and guardians it is your decision to make.

Now for the plan: Paint the scene, and explain to your child that the dummy fairy is searching high and low, all over the world for her dummies.  She's searched so far that she's getting very tired, but she's not giving up, as its for a brand new wee baby.  And you know what, she thinks you are a big boy or girl now and super brave, so brave that you don't need your dummy anymore.  And I think you're super brave too.  Fairy 'lottie' knows that your dummy will be perfect and says that as you are a big brave boy/girl now, she knows that you can give your dummy to the little baby?  'Lets surprise our fairy and the little baby!'. Make sure this last statement is said with excitement and enthusiasm. 

Create the scene with a little drama.  Wrap it up like a special newborn gift with a lovely card and note.  Have a chat about the new baby, is it a boy or girl? Does it love to gurgle and laugh or poop their nappies, eww poopy nappies?  Yes, a few silly words goes a long way.  Encourage your child to leave their dummy by their fairy door rather than you if possible.  For best results leave a note written to the fairy and in return, the fairy will leave an affirmation note rewarding this and a special little gift in replacement too!


Positive Behaviour Fairy

If your child is struggling with staying in bed at night, dry nappies, fighting with their siblings, potty training, brushing their teeth or simply keeping their rooms tidy...the list goes on.  Reward them overnight when they do act positively.  Praise their good behaviour and occasionally leave a coin, sticker, or a small gift might be warranted too from time to time.

Leave a note by their door, in their fairy mailbox, with fairy post or leaving one on the stairs.  

The expression found on your child's face when they find a little something is priceless.



Tooth Fairy

This one is easy, as there is no need to sneak under a pillow trying, not to wake your child. Just leave a note and/or a coin next to the fairy door, on the stairs or in the wee mailbox.  If you do use the mailbox, be sure to put the tooth in a little bag or use tweezers to get it back out.  The slot is only small of course so it can be hard for adult fingers to get the tooth back out. 
Tip: Blu-tak is very handy. Attach the mailbox to the wall, then you can just take it off and tip it out, fill and stick!

@cupid.lives.here from IG.  Check out her message.

'I picked Kais up from school.... he ran out and was soooo happy to see me, and wrapped in a tissue was a little tooth which fell out in class. He wasn’t expecting it... as it hasn’t been wiggling for long. So, tonight the Tooth Fairy will visit both Kais and Eden... he already doubts she’s not real so who knows how long we can keep the magic alive but when there are so many big important issues in the world it’s nice to have little simple moments which can spark happiness 💕


@myweefairydoor oh my gosh this morning he woke up and squealed.... he was amazed at the tiny fairy writing and the beautiful fairy dust she left (thank you). It was an amazing start to his morning 💕'



Santas Elves

You would think the kids would know better and act like saints leading up to Christmas but no, well not in my house anyway. I've 'called' Santa a few times now and left notes in the mailbox from Santa's elves too.  Much the same as positive affirmations but with a little parental threat 'stop fighting or Santa's not coming!'  Well perhaps not just like that but I'm sure you get the idea.



Family Dynamics

Being a parent can be hard, our children are everything to us and nothing hurts more than to see our child anxious or sad.  This is where our fairy and elf doors come to play, a special time when their fairy is looking over them, a safe environment where only kind notes are sent and received.

Transitions and Times of Unease

At times our children face difficulties too, the anxiety of what they do not understand, what is the new new?  Perhaps this is moving to a new house or neighbourhood, or a family separation.  Fairy and Elf doors can help here too:

Set up a wee fairy or elf door in their new room and leave a welcome note and a little welcome present.  Tell them how much fun their new fairy friend has had in their new home, how wonderful it has been to live there and its truly super that the fairy will have a new human friend. 

The present doesn't have to be much, kids get a kick out of $0.10 but think of magic, a little enchanted gift.  Perhaps a little wand, some magic fairy dust used to call their fairy when they are in need.  A lovely writing set all ready to send notes to their fairy friend.  If you don't know where to start, check out our accessories page for ideas.



If your child is of the age that they can express themselves even in the simplest of ways, encourage them to get their thoughts on paper and write to their fairy. It will be very valuable for you as a parent to know what is going on in their lives, even if they cannot talk about it. 

I'm not suggesting that you turn snoop but for the greater good, if you happen to find what your 8 year old may written, it is okay.  You can help them if need be, just ensure you do this in a delicate fashion.  Don't break their trust or the spell.  Once it's gone, you won't have the chance to help them again this way, and they won't have this ability to vent what they need.


Storytelling and Bonding

Spend quiet time reading favourite books in their fairy nook, and if you have an imaginative little one, encourage them to elaborate and create their own stories.  Kids are full of fun and come up with great stories! What they love most is the interest of their parents, grandparents and other carers listening and paying attention to them.

It's perfect for creativity and cognitive abilities, encourage them to get their ideas on paper with drawings or using other materials found around the home, telling their stories with pictures.  Is kills an hour or two too, especially on a rainy day. 


Family Play

Family play is an important factor with your child's development, in terms of learning empathy, understanding others and also helping with complex situations and just plain fun!

Picture your child dancing and swirling with friends in their enchanted fairy land, they are learning to co-ordinate their movements, work together cooperatively, build relationships and also think flexibly.  Nothing gets in the way of a child with an idea.  Let them grow their ideas with the freedom of their imagination and a fantasy world.